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He had almost reached his desk when it happened. He turned the corner
and was suddenly assaulted by a thin stream of
smoke. He stood there, paralyzed, as the smoke surrounded him, making
him ill. It was then that he snapped. He rushed to his
desk and took out the letter opener he had there.
He stalked back to the woman who'd had the nerve to breath that vile,
disgusting smoke at him. Grabbing her by the hair he
plunged the letter opener into her heart. She opened her mouth to scream
but it was to late. He pulled the letter opener out and
plunged it into her again and again. When he was certain she was dead,
he wiped off the weapon and proceeded to the next
cubicle.
An hour later he looked around at his work. Every smoking co-working,
every person who indulged in that miserable habit was
now dead. Dipping his hands in a pile of blood he turned to the wall
and wrote a little message.
"Smoking kills."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy walked into the library a copy of the Sunnydale Times in her hand.
She stopped in the middle of the room, making sure
she had everyone's full attention. Assured that all eyes were on her
she spoke.
"Giles, we've got big problems."
Giles, surprised, looked at the Slayer. "What exactly is the problem Buffy?" he asked confused.
Buffy sighed in exasperation. She walked over to the table and handed
Willow the newpaper. The redhead gasped when she
read the headline. She glanced at the picture and gagged. She passed
the paper to Xander, whose reaction almost made Buffy
smile. Finally the paper was passed to Giles.
"Good Heavens!" he exclaimed when he read the bold print. As he scanned
the article, his face drained of all color. According
to the paper, a man had killed twenty three people in an office building.
There was no murder weapon, but the police suspect he
stabbed them all to death. There were no clues to the killer's identity,
except for the blood written message he'd left on the wall.
Finally done reading, he looked up at the three teens. "This mad man
must be stopped."
Buffy nodded. "I agree," she said firmly. "So, what do we do? I've never hunted a human before."
Giles winced at her phrasing. "Buffy, must you be so cruel?"
"Giles, get over it already," she chided, exasperated. "We've got some
psycho looney going around killing off people just
because they smoke. Now, I admit it's a nasty habit, but come on. Don't
you think this is a little extreme?"
Giles nodded his head in reluctant agreement.
"So, said psych ward candidate deserves to be hunted," she stated looking
around the room for support. Three heads nodded
an affirmative. Buffy smiled. "Good, so what's the best way to hunt
a cigarette hating crazy killer?"
Xander raised a hand. "I know this one." His voice held a note of smug pride.
Buffy sighed, but decided to indulge the boy. "Yes Xander?"
Xander smiled, happy that there was finally something for him to do. "We smoke."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"How come he gets to do all the smoking?"
Buffy dragged her attention away from the door of the Bronze and frowned
at her whining friend. He'd been sulking for the last
half an hour, going on and on about how disappointed he was that he
hadn't been able to light up a cigarette. The complaining
had gotten old twenty nine minutes ago and Buffy knew if he didn't
cut it out, she was going to cause him bodily harm.
"Xander, we've been over this," Buffy said for the fifth time. "Angel
gets to smoke because it doesn't bother him. And if Smoky
the Killer shows up and decides to start stabbing nobody will die.
Do you understand now?"
Xander took in Buffy's very angry gaze and nodded, deciding that maybe now would be a good time to shut up.
Buffy smiled, happy with his aquiescence. She looked over at Willow, who's attention was focused on the crowd.
"Will, any signs of our psycho?"
Willow turned, shaking her head. "No," she answered. "Not one smoke hating killer in the bunch. How about you?"
"No sign of him over this way either," Buffy answered glancing once
more at the door. She sighed. "Maybe we're going about
this wrong. Maybe I should be out looking for him."
Angel shook his head. "Sit tight, he'll show. The man's snapped, he's
on the run. The Bronze is the only place for him to go." He
took the cigarette he was holding and stubbed it out. Reaching for
another one he groaned. "I just hope he shows soon. All this
smoking is starting to get to me."
Buffy smiled. "You and me both," she replied. "And until the smell of
smoke is gone from your person, there will be no cozying
up with this Slayer."
She was just turning back to watch the door, when a movement in the
corner caught her attention. She looked over and her
eyes widened. Standing in a dark corner, staring hatefully at Angel,
was her killer. Slowly, so not to attract his attention, she
turned back to her frineds.
"I think Smoky has found us," she announced in a sing song voice.
Willow leaned forward eagerly. "What now?"
Angel stood up from his chair and took Buffy's hand in his. "Now, we lure our killer into a trap."
Buffy nodded. "Angel and I will saunter casually outside while you and
Xander keep an eye on Smoky. When he follows us,
make sure he doesn't get away. We'll be waiting for him."
Satisfied that everyone was okay with the plan, Buffy and Angel headed
out the door. Sure enough, Smoky the Psycho
followed them his evil intent clear in his eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy and Angel rounded the corner of the Bronze and stopped in the
alley. Buffy grabbed her weapon, gripping it tightly in her
hands. Angel watched her, wondering if she could do this. Seconds later
they confronted their killer.
Smoky rounded the corner smiling evilly when he noticed his two victims
standing there wrapped in each others arms. He
wondered briefly how the girl could kiss the man who'd just spent the
whole night smoking those nasty cigarettes. But in the
end, he really didn't care. They were both smokers and they deserved
to die.
He pulled his letter opener out of his jacket pocket and approached
the two. He smiled when he noticed they had no idea he
was there. He stopped right behind the girl, weapon raised and ready
to strike when he got the shock of his life.
The girl spun around, knocking the letter opener from his hands. Smoky
stood there, stunned, as she raised a fist and punched
him. He fell to the ground, moaning in pain from the blow.
But the girl wasn't finished yet.
Buffy grabbed Smoky by the collar and dragged him to his feet.
"So, anyone who smokes deserves to die, huh?" she asked him angrily.
Smoky nodded. "Well then, how about trying a few
cigarettes yourself?"
Smoky's eyes widened in horror as she pulled a pack of cigarettes from
her pocket. She handed them to her companion, who
pulled out several, and handed them back to her. Then, one by one,
she stuck the cigarettes into his mouth. Smoky tried to
resist but he couldn't stop her as she forced the whole pack into his
mouth.
Buffy smiled at the man she held, enjoying the fear in his eyes. She
reached into her pocket and pulled out something. Holding in
it front of his face she laughed.
"Need a light?"
Smoky shook his head vigourously as she flicked the lighter on and lit
each cigarette he held in his mouth. She reached up,
pinching his nose, forcing him to suck in the smoke from the cigarettes.
Smoky felt the thick smoke pouring down his throat and was disgusted.
Retreating into his own world he barely noticed when
the girl let him go and handed him the letter opener. He gripped the
weapon in his hand holding it over his heart. He was now a
smoker. And all smokers deserved to die.
With the cigarettes still in his mouth, he plunged the letter opener
into his heart over and over again until finally he dropped to the
ground, dead.
Buffy stepped over Smoky's body and walked over to Angel. Together they
stood there staring at the body. That was how
Willow and Xander found them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So tell me again how you killed him?" Xander asked once they were all settled back in the library.
Buffy sighed. "I didn't kill him," she said smiling faintly. "He killed himself."
"But why?" Xander asked still confused.
Willow shook her head at his density. "Buffy made him smoke and he thought
all smokers should die. And because he smoked
he became one of them."
Xander nodded as it all came together. "So, as a smoker he deserved to die."
Bufy nodded. "That's right." She looked up a a spot past Xander's shoulder.
One the wall of the library there was a sign.
Reading it, Buffy nodded her head in silent agreement.
"Smoking really does kill."
Fan Fiction Chamber