Second Chance at Love - 4

"You okay?" a low voice said in her ear.  Brenda turned around to see
Jason.

"Is there any point in my lying?" She asked.

"No."  He handed her a class of wine.  "Does this mean you're talking to
me again?"

"Sure.  Just don't push your luck."  She smiled.

"Has Jax metioned Alex?"

"No.  He hasn't come near me since he got here.  Except for that one
time.  I thought Lois would kick his ass."

"Does he know where she is?"

"No."

"How is she?"

"Not here Jase.  Walls tend to have ears in this place."

"Okay.  When?"

"Come by tonight. Around ten?"

"I'll be there.  C'mon I think the service is starting."

"Where's Carly?"

"With her mom and Jerry."

"And Jax.  Lucky Carly." Brenda took Jason's arm and they went out to
the path that led to the graveyard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Caroline Benson Spencer Morgan wanted to scream.  Loudly.  This is what
happened when she was forced to be nice to a person who had hurt and
violated one of her best friends.  Ironies of ironies a few months later
he had become her step-uncle.  Grrrr! she thought to herself.  She
wanted to slap the tall blonde man standing a few feet away from her
until her hand hurt and then she wanted to slap him for making it hurt.

"Carly?"  She looked up to see Alexis Ashton.

"Hey Alexis."

"Are you alright?"

"Sure.  Why do you ask?"

"Your hankerchief."  She said nodding.

Carly looked down.  The hankerchief she'd been carrying was wrapped
extremely tightly around her fingers.  She relaxed her hands and the
blood started to flow again.

"There that's better."  Alexis said sitting down.

"I want to throttle him."

"So does Ned."

"Jason too."

"I cannot believe he has the nerve to show his face around here." Alexis
muttered.

"I can.  He always was cocky.  He knows that Brenda never told anyone
except for us about what happened."

"I wish she had.  I wish so much that that SOB was in prison for what he
did."

"We all do Alexis."  The women stared in contempt at Jax.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Lois, can I ask you something?" Sonny asked.

"Sure." she said as they sat down in one of the rows of chairs.

"Why is everyone looking at Jax like they'd like to kill him?"

"What are you talking about Sonny?"

"I'm talking about the way Bren wouldn't meet his eyes this morning, the
way you looked like you wanted to rip his head off, and the way Carly
and Alexis are staring at his like they'd like to hire mercanaries to
chop off the protruding parts of his body.  Care to explain?"

"Not really."  She said examining her nails which were back to normal
size.

"Cerullo, start talking or I'm going to Bensonhurst and telling your
mother who started that garbage fire you blamed on Timmy Peterson."

"Sonny I was seven years old.  It isn't going to work this time."

"C'mon Lo, what's going on?"

"I can't tell you Sonny."

"Why not?"

"It's not my place."  Lois got up and went to sit with Monica and Emily.

Sonny looked around for Brenda and he finally spotted her sitting with
Jason and Carly.  Ned and Alexis sat next to them.  He made up his mind
to talk to her later.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Brenda and Lois walked up the stairs on her porch.

"Boy am I tired."

"Me too.  But I can't go to sleep yet."

"How come?"  Lois asked as Brenda started to unlock the door. To their
surprise it opened as soon as Brenda touched it..  They looked at each
other. "Stay calm.  Before we go in, where are the kids?"

"Mary Scanlon's house.  She offered to watch them along with Joe and
Karen's kids.  I'm supposed to pick them up tomorrow."

"And Brooke's at the gatehouse with Ned and Alexis. Okay.  Where are the
guards?"

"I don't know."

"Let's go in.  Don't touch anything."  They very cautiously entered the
house.  "Where's the light switch?"

"On the wall."  A few seconds later the lights came on.  "Oh my God
Lois.  Look at this place."

Brenda's house was completely trashed.  Tables were overturned and
drawers were pulled out. The couch cushions were pulled out of the
covers and strewn all over the floor.  Papers from her desk were all
over the floor.

"Who coulda done this?"

"I don't-" Then Brenda saw that her filing cabinet was upside down.  All
the drawers were pulled out except for the bottom one.  The locked one.
She kept the key on her keychain and the copy in a safe deposit box.
"Jax.  He was looking for Alexandra."

"Bren?"  Jason's voice floated in from outside as he walked up the
stairs. He froze in the doorway. "Oh my god what happened?"

"Jax.  Jax happened Jason."
 

Brenda groaned as she swung the door shut to her now-cleaned cottage.
She looked around the living room and drew a shaky breath. Now she was
alone in her thoughts of Sonny. In her thoughts of how close he had come
to finding out the truth. The police had told her that they would search
the place again, more thoroughly, to gather more evidence, but Brenda
had quickly disregarded it.  She wanted Jax safe, no matter how much of
a bastard he was. For Alex. Brenda crossed the room to her stereo.
There was a slight dent in the face, but the screen on it was still
working. Selecting her favorite Toni Braxton CD, she picked up a book
and walked back to the couch.

I heard he sang a lullaby
I heard he sang it from his heart
When I found out thought I would die
Because that lullaby was mine
I heard he sealed it with a kiss
He gently kissed her cherry lips
I found that so hard to believe
Because his kiss belonged to me

When Brenda heard the words to this song, she froze. It was the very
same song that she had heard on the  radio on the way back to the hotel
after Sonny had left her at the alter. The very same song that had made
her breakdown into a fit of sobs, screaming and crying because the words
rang so true about so many  aspects of their relationship. Maybe Sonny
wasn't having an affair, oh no.  He'd never do that. But he was
her angel. And he had broken her heart. The heart that she had proudly
and lovingly given to him. It was  broken.

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

Sonny stood on Brenda's porch, listening to the music that wafted
through the slightly open living room window. He could see her sitting
on the couch, curled up into a little ball.  Her face was hidden from
his view but he could tell the effect the song was having on her. She
was shaking.

I heard her face was white as rain
Soft as a rose that blooms in May
He keeps her picture in a frame
And when he sleeps he calls her name
I wonder if she makes him smile
The way he used to smile at me
I hope she doesn't make him laugh
Because his laugh belongs to me

Brenda wiped away her tears. She didn't want to cry. Not tonight.
Tonight was the worst night to be crying. She was supposed to be brave.
She was supposed to be all cried out. Brenda heard a noise outside and
she turned, looked out the window to see Sonny standing on her doorstep.

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

Sonny watched Brenda angrily storm to the door and yank it open. "What
the hell are you doing here?"

Oh my soul is dying, it's crying
I'm trying to understand
Please help me

Sonny gazed into her tear-stained face. His hand reached out to carress
it. "Baby, why're you crying?"

"What the hell do you want?"

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart?

"I want-I wanted to talk to you."

Brenda thanked God that the song ended. She was beginning to get her
strength back. That song always  made her break down, no matter where
she was or how she was feeling. It always made her think of Sonny.  "I'm
all talked out tonight, Sonny."

"No, no, no, it has to be tonight." He looked around the room. "Jason
told me what happened-"

"He did?"

"Somebody broke into your place?"

Brenda nodded. "Look, Sonny-"

"Can I come in?" His voice was so soft, he was inches away from her.

Brenda felt the tears sliding down her face. "Sonny, stop-"

"Shhh. Don't cry, baby. I hate making you cry." He knelt down and rubbed
her tears away with the pads of  his thumbs. Brenda let out a shaky
breath. His touch turned her insides to mush.

"Sonny-"

"I love you," He whispered. "I've done a lot of shitty things in my
life, Brenda, but the one thing that I did  right was fall in love with
you. I never stopped."

Brenda bit back a sob. "Sonny, you have to go."

He nodded. "I have to. But I can't. I need you, baby. I need to hold
you, I need to. . .kiss you. If only for  tonight, I need to be with you
for tonight."

Brenda's eyes slid shut and she shook her head as the tears began to
fall. She couldn't stop them now. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Doing what?"

"Making it harder for me to stay away. . ." She looked down at her feet.
"I can't think straight when I'm with you."

"I'll do the thinking for you."

"No. No, I can't have anyone do that for me anymore."

"Let me make love to you."

Brenda's eyes slid open. She felt her knees buckle and she began to
pitch forward. Sonny caught her and
held her tight against his chest. He put his lips to her ear,
whispering, "I want to make love to you, Brenda. I want to show you, I
want to remind you how good we are when we're together."

Why couldn't she think straight? What was going on? Brenda pulled back
and ran her hand over the back of his head. "Make love to me, Sonny,"
she found herself saying.

He smiled and whispered, "I love you."

Brenda pulled his head down to hers and they kissed wetly. She walked
backwards into her house and Sonny kicked the door shut with his foot.
Brenda started to lead him to the floor, but he shook his head and
scooped her up into his arms and up the stairs. Brenda gasped his name
as he set her down onto her bed and covered her body with his. They
procede to tear at one anothers clothing, Brenda kissing his muscular
chest, and Sonny nipping playfully at her soft skin. As her bra and
underwear joined the pile of  clothing on the floor, Brenda took his
head in her hands and kissed him deeply. Her eyes were full of pleading
as he filled her, and together, they fell off the ends of the Earth.


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