revelations
by aramat

She never knew what hit her. One moment she was standing there, alone with her thoughts, an act in which she often found herself these days,the next he was there, surrounding her. She stood still as death, waiting for him to make the first move, hoping he would come to her, not herto him as had been the way all those years ago. In the end they came to each other.

The longer she stood there trying to forget his presence, the longer he stood waiting, waiting for her to acknowledge his presence, waitingfor her to yeild to the power that drew them together. In the end she couldn't deny it, she didn't want to.

They came together slowly, each taking tentative steps toward something neither of them wanted, but needed despite their intentions. Toeach other they were drawn by passion, by hate, by destiny, by love. They were drawn together by a need to destroy, drawn together by aneed to heal. So many conflicting emotions, so many feelings that defied explanation.

As they stared up at each other, their eyes holding many questions, questions they could only answer by looking deep inside themselves, tothe parts they didn't want to explore.

She opened her mouth to speak, to say how confused she still was by their situation, that even after all these years the sound of his name,softly spoken in her dreams, still had the ability to incite her rage, that the memory of his touch, his hands caressing her, still had the abilityto inflame her passions. He stopped her, his finger against her slightly parted lips effectively silencing the words that waited to be spoken.He, better than anyone, understood. He felt what she felt, he knew what she knew. They were bound together, for all eternity, and the bondhad only grown stronger during their time apart.

It hardly surprised her that she'd never gotten over him. He'd been her first love. The one you never forgot, the one you loved forever. The onlything was, as hard as she tried, she couldn't move on. Other women, while never forgetting their first love, moved on to bigger and betterthings. But she couldn't, no matter how many men she dated, how many lovers she had, none could make her forget him. He'd literally spoiledher for other men, something that, at times made her laugh, at times made her cry. She didn't want to love him, she'd tell herself, she didn'twant to remember him and the way they had been. But when she fell asleep at night and her dreams took over he would be there, in somemystical place, waiting for her, and she was happy.

When she finally focused her attention back on him he was smiling. He reached up, his hand cupping her cheek, and she leaned into his palm,her eyes closing, her lips parting as a contented sigh escaped her. His hand moved down to lift her chin and she opened her eys to look athim, knowing that he had something to say.

"I've never forgotten," he whispered softly to her, his voice holding a note of sadness that she recognized intimately. It was a sound she waswell used to, having heard it in her own. "I'll never forget. You won't let me."

And she knew then, as he spoke those words, that she remembered him because she wanted to, not because she couldn't stop herself. His presence was an intergral part of her, his influence in her life so deep that to abandon it would mean losing an intimate part of herself, a part she was not ready, probably would never be ready, to let go. She needed him to be a part of her life, in any way, shape or form. Just like he needed her in his.

Together they were stronger and they'd held on to that in anyway they could, through their dreams, through their memories, through the love that had once brought them together and tore them apart.

In the moment it took her to stop denying that she did, indeed, love him, to start admitting that there would never be anyone else for her, she felt as if a great weight had been lifted from her. She felt alive, she felt happy, she felt loved. They were feelings she'd denied herself for so long, feelings she'd forgotten she needed in order to survive.

"You know," she said, as she smiled up at him. "You still have the ability to make me crazy." Her smile widened when he cracked one of his own.

"Funny, you do the same to me." He leaned forward slightly, his lips lightly brushing hers, before he pulled away and looked down at her, his eyes serious. "I've missed you. A lot."

She smiled. "I've missed you too. Life was lonely without you."

Then she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close, holding on to him and life was finally worth living again.


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