Crime in Port Chuckles - 4
The Line-up

Lucky sat in the chair at the police station, "You know, I don't see why we
have to do a line up when Brenda already knows me..."

Venus said, "You know, that does make a lot of sense-"

"Silence!" Taggert yelled, then looked to Lucky and said, "Ignore her, she's
new.  She hasn't figured out that common sense is not allowed here."

Lizzie sits by Lucky and shakes her head, "Do you people realize how asinine
this all is?"

Taggert is dumbfounded, "Um....  huh?"

Lizzie rolled her eyes, "Asin-"

"You're calling me an ass!  That's it, you're going to jail too!"

"What?!  I didn't even really call you that, the word asinine means-"

Mac gasped as he approached them, "How dare you use such foul language in my
department!"

Venus gets a big headache, wondering what the heck she was doing coming to
PCPD.  Why not just join the Keystone cops or shoot a hole in her foot?
"Guys, maybe we should just start the line up."
 
 

Brenda watched the men lining up.  "Oh!  Number five!"

Taggert was confused, "Number five?  He's not Lucky-"

"He's cute!  I want him!" Brenda said, jumping up and down.

Mac slapped his forehead, "Brenda, your supposed to figure out who stole
your purse."

Brenda whined, "But, you guys said I could pick a guy out of the line up.
You said so..." Brenda started sniffing, "JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!"

Jax busted the door down and asked, "What is it my dear?"

"They won't let me pick a man out of the line...  Instead I have to tell
them who stole my purse, so they can pay for their crime.  What is the world
coming to?"

Jax, very jelous, asked, "Which man?"  She pointed out number five.  "Hey...
wait a minute... SONNY CORINTHOS!"

Sonny waved from the line up, "Hey, baby."

Brenda fluttered her eyes at him, which mades Jax very angry.  Jax crashed
through the window and marched right to Sonny, "You aren't going to get
Brenda this time.  NOBODY LEAVES!  Except you of course, and I'm going to
use all my power to be sure you leave."  Jax whips out checkbook, "Now, how
much?"

Sonny laughed, "I don't want your money, candy boy!"

Jax started whimpering, "Crap, now I have no way to get rid of you..."

Venus stood up, "This is getting us no where!"

Taggert replied, "You're right."

"I am?" Venus asked, confused.

Taggert marched up to Sonny, "Admit it, Corinthos, YOU did it!"

"Did what?" Sonny asked.

Lucky shrugged, "Stole Brenda's purse...  even though I was stabbed and have
close to 100 stitches in my abdomen, the police MUST learn who took her purse."

Brenda cried, "Sonny, isn't it aweful!?  Someone stole my purse...  I almost
wasn't able to go on... I mean, all my make up was in that bag, but Jax flew
me in some more make up.  But still, Sonny, isn't it aweful???"

Sonny rolled his eyes, "Please, Deke locked me in a closet and beat me."

"Uh... uh... well, I got Lucky's blood on my short skirt, doesn't that count
for something?" Brenda asked.

Lizzie said, "Oh please!  Brenda, get over the purse.  Lucky was cut open
last night, you just lost makeup."

Brenda cried, "Why are you all being so mean to me!?  JAAAAAX!"

Jax took her in his arms, "Don't worry, snuggy wuggy, I'll take you away
from these big bullies!"  Jax carried her out of there, rocking her like a baby.

Sonny, sickened by the sight he had just scene, looked to Lucky and said,
"You were released from the hospital already, even though Lizzie says it
just happened last night?"

Lucky nods his head, "Yeah, there wasn't enough room.  The hospital seems to
keep disapearing somewhere... except when those interns are around."

"Yeah, whatever.  Do you know who stabbed you?" Sonny asked, genuinely
concerned.

"Oh, who cares!" Taggert yelled, "Sonny, admit it, I know you took that purse!"

"Why the hell would I steal Brenda's purse?"

Taggert shook his head, "I don't care about motive, I just want to see YOU
and LUCKY in jail!"

"Why do you keep picking on me!?" Lucky asked.

"Because...  just because, okay!  TAKE EM AWAY BOYS!"

The police are seen dragging Emily Quartermaine to a cell.

"NO, NO!" Taggert screamed, "Not EM!  I meant, them!  Em is a slang for
them, you asinines!"
 
 

Lizzie had just come from Lucky's cell and was in the main police room.

Emily went to Lizzie and said, "I can't believe this place.  And I thought
MY family was insane.  It doesn't compare to the idiots in this department."

"No kidding." Lizzie said, "If only we could prove Lucky is innocent."

"Want to work together, I'm sure we could do better then these guys." Emily
suggested.

"Yeah!  Why not!" Lizzie said.

"I'll join, too." Venus said to them.  "I'm sick of working with these
people.  I want to arrest the criminals, NOT the victems."

Emily said, "Cool!  We'll be LUCKY'S ANGELS!"

Venus, Lizzie and Emily do a "Charlie's Angels" pose as the chapter ends.


Port Chuckles Menu
Main Menu