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"What is it?"
"Cocoa," the fortune-teller said, smiling. "I'm all out of magical potions."
Buffy sat in Astra's trailer beside Will on the couch, both huddled
up in large blankets. The Slayer
had an idea that it might be smart to remove the wet clothing, but
the blanket and the cocoa would
do for now.
"Thanks."
Astra sat across from the soaked teenagers. "So, what have you two been
up to? I hope you got to
the vampire before it killed somebody."
Buffy grimaced. "I'm afraid I didn't. I…" She seemed to realize something,
then discard it as
useless. "I guess it doesn't matter if you know now." She turned to
Will. "I also guess I owe you
one, Will."
Will smiled shyly. "Augh, it was nothing. I fight vampires all the time."
Buffy's grimace turned to a frown. "That's not really something you
want as a career choice, trust
me." Her gaze returned to her cup, and when she spoke, her voice was
quiet and small. "There's a
body… up in the Ferris Wheel. I don't know who she was, but… she's
very dead."
Astra got up quickly and headed for the door. "I'll take care of it.
You'll watch over my Will, won't
you?"
Buffy managed a smile. "Yes, ma'am."
After the fortune-teller left, there was an uncomfortable silence in
which the two, tentatively, became
friends. It's actually a surprising thing, friendship. It can be so
hard to pinpoint the exact moment
two people stop being faces in the crowd and start becoming friends,
but it often comes during
uncomfortable silences when both are thinking of each other and what
brought them to this very
moment.
But Buffy wasn't interested in making friends; she knew all too well
what happened to them while
she was around. And when she wasn't. So the process was reluctant,
and it ended with Buffy leaning
over and resting her head on his shoulder.
"What is the deal here?"
"The deal, Buffy," replied Rya Raines, "is that carnies are this continent's
version of gypsies, and
along with that comes a certain… bent for the unusual."
"So you knew I was a Slayer?"
They were all sitting in Rya's trailer the next morning, Buffy, Astra,
Will, and Rya; to anyone
passing by, it looked like a leisurely breakfast, although there probably
wouldn't be anyone passing
by, since it was still raining like the clouds had been carrying around
the Pacific Ocean for a while,
and decided it was time to release some ballast.
"Actually, Astra filled me in on that part, but we all have our problems,
don't we? Believe me, you
don't want to know mine."
Astra finished off a rather delicious slice of toast with homemade raspberry
jam. "Your arrival here
at the carnival is rather fortuitous, Buffy. We have been plagued by
mysterious disappearances in
recent weeks, and now we know why."
"Glad I could be of service," Buffy said with a hint of sarcasm.
"At least none of the missing persons were carnies," reflected Rya.
"What, somehow that makes it better?" protested Buffy. "Dead people
are dead people, no matter
who they are or what they do."
"No," said Will patiently, "it doesn't make it better. But we're all
one big family here, and, well,
being missing is one thing, but knowing that they were killed by a
vampire… We're just glad none of
our family were taken."
"Yet," said Buffy flatly.
"Yet," Will agreed.
Buffy sat lost in thought for a moment, going over what they had just
said; there was something
important that she almost missed, now what was it? Oh.
"Why haven't any carnies been taken?"
The others shrugged.
"I can think of two reasons: one, the vampire is, or was, a carny."
Rya coughed. "Impossible. How could the vampire be a carny? What happens
to him during the
day?"
"That brings me to my second reason: whoever's hiding him is a carny."
It was Astra's turn to be shocked. "Hiding him? You can't be serious."
Rya sighed. "No, Astra, she is serious, and as much as we'd like to
think that our family is good and
upright, there could be someone who…" She closed her eyes for a moment,
wincing slightly. "Who
would make a deal with a devil."
Will spoke slowly. "Perhaps this person made a bargain with the vampire
- he would hide him
during the day, and at night, when it feeds, it only takes marks."
"Either way, this stinks like last week's Red Lobster catch of the day,"
said Buffy. "If somebody's
hiding this vampire, we have to find out who and where."
* * *
"Joyce told me what happened, I think. But Buffy hasn't been here."
Buffy's father slumped slightly in his chair. To Giles, the man looked
beaten, a tired, worn-out
shadow with little energy left to fight the darkness. The Watcher felt
a stirring sympathy for this
father who saw his daughter maybe a few times a year, and who has just
realized that even in times
of trouble, he wasn't someone Buffy could turn to for help.
Giles could definitely relate.
"I'm really sorry, Mr. Summers, but if we are to find her, we must explore
all avenues of, um,
investigation. No phone calls?"
A shake of the head.
"No knocks on the door, and when you answered, no one was there?"
Another shake.
Giles paused. This was the tough question. "Do you know where she might have gone?"
Mr. Summers raised his head and met the librarian's gaze. "If she didn't
come here, what does that
say about me? How well can I know my own daughter when she can't come
to me for help?"
Giles cleared his throat. "You can't blame yourself, Mr. Summers. I…"
"Why not?" His voice grew in anger. "She needed her father, and where
was I? Here in L.A.,
because I couldn't get along with her mother. And now that, from what
you say, her world is falling
apart…" His left hand, balled into a fist, slammed down on the coffee
table beside him. "I failed
her, and she's gone to God knows where to get away from her life, which,
until recently, included
me."
Giles sighed. "I'm sorry, Mr. Summers. We will find her, I can assure
you. Please don't… don't
believe that your daughter does not know that you love her. She is
a very confused young girl right
now."
Mr. Summers wiped his eyes and looked at the Watcher. "You… you're probably
the closest thing to
a father she's got, am I right?"
Giles backpedalled mentally. "Uh, well, I suppose that may be the case, but…"
Buffy's father held out his hand, and Giles took it automatically.
"When you find my daughter, tell her that I'm sorry. Be the father for
her that I should have been.
Can you do that for me?"
Their eyes locked, and Giles felt some sort of pact, a promise pass between them.
"I will."
* * *
Buffy stepped out of Rya's trailer feeling rather frustrated. They had
talked for a while, but nothing
came of it. At least she didn't have to worry about those three; Rya
looked like she's dealt with
worse things in her lifetime, Astra would probably give the vampire
the evil eye, and Will…
Her mind harrumphed.
He was a nice boy, but she didn't have time for that. Didn't have the
space in her heart for that. As
she walked down the row between the trailers, she let her memory touch
Angel's face lightly, so
lightly, but it still hurt like the sword was going through her midsection
instead of his. No space in
her heart at all for anything.
She didn't see the hand holding the damp rag until it was too late,
and the chloroform did its work
quietly and efficiently. As the fog enveloped her consciousness, she
was surprised at how welcome it
felt.
When Buffy opened her eyes, another Buffy two feet away opened hers.
She blinked, the other
blinked. Her mind fought through the last tendrils of fog to burst
onto the scene and make a quick
conclusion.
That would be a mirror.
Right. She tried to sit up, and her head felt like it had been stuffed
with cotton balls. Heavy, soaking
wet cotton balls. She shook her head, and almost passed out from the
dizziness that resulted. Lying
back down on the wooden floor, she mentally kicked her brain in the
butt and forced it to work.
Where am I?
Her eyes roamed her surroundings, and reported back to the brain.
Surrounded by mirrors. Except for straight ahead, which appears to be
a hallway of mirrors leading
into darkness.
Way to go, brain.
What next?
Oh, right.
Add it all up, kid. You're in a maze of mirrors. You're in the fun house.
She groaned. She had never been good at mazes. Made her feel like a rat.
Who put you here?
That was an easy one.
The guy hiding the vampire.
Too bad he snuck up on her from behind; of course, if he had snuck up
on her from the front, that
would have been rather unsuccessful.
Why am I still alive?
That wasn't so easy. That took a few moments.
Because the vampire can't get from wherever he's hiding to the fun house without walking in daylight.
She sat up quickly and pushed back with her feet until her back rested
against the mirrored
dead-end wall. Having a watch would be good right about now.
Then it occurred to her to listen carefully, and she did. She heard nothing. Therefore…
Therefore the fun house is probably closed, which means it's way past my bedtime.
She struggled to her feet, using the wall as support. Her head was still
quite out of balance, and she
knew that facing a vampire in the next five minutes would be a short
fight.
So? Let's get out of here, then.
Right. She started down the hallway, trying to remember what you're
supposed to do in a maze. Was
it - turn left at every intersection? Turn right? Turn left, then right,
then left? A groggy head didn't
make this any easier. She looked in the mirror and stared at herself
for a moment. Was it her
imagination, or was her reflection… mocking her? Then it hit her like
a bag of stakes: she could see
her own reflection...
But vampires don't have reflections.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a shadow flit by, and she turned
her head quickly, hoping to
spot it. Nothing there.
She waited a few seconds for her heart to resume something like a normal
rate and moved on,
coming to an intersection after several shuffling steps.
Left? Or right? What would Giles do?
Oh, that hurt to think about. Let's not do that again.
Left.
She continued down this new corridor until she reached another dead
end. She turned quickly
around, suddenly afraid that the vampire was right behind her.
It wasn't.
She went back to the intersection, and struggled to remember which way
she had already come from
before.
Straight? Or right?
A shuffling sound from the right corridor decided her.
Okay, okay, let's get lucky, all I need is some strong coffee and a
fattening pastry of some sort, and I'll
be fine.
Her feet moved faster. Another intersection, this time with three possibilities.
Behind her, a shadow
moved, and she whirled around to face…
Nothing. Again.
He's stalking me.
"You're stalking me. Wonderful. Could you at least tell me which way
to the exit so we can make the
ending more exciting?"
The shadow, wherever it was, remained silent. Buffy shrugged, and picked
the left corridor. With
each step, she felt her head slowly become a little lighter, a little
less tight. This was encouraging. She
turned a corner, and -
The vampire grabbed her by the throat and slammed her against the wall.
Buffy tried to choke out a
scream, but she couldn't get any air through. She stared at the reflection
in the mirror behind the
undead creature; it looked like she was being suspended in midair by
absolutely nothing. Desperate,
she kicked at the undead creature, hitting him in the crotch.
With a wail, the vampire staggered back, clutching at his privates.
Buffy coughed a couple of times,
catching her breath.
"I can fight dirtier than that, (cough), if you'd like."
The vampire straightened, which must have been an effort, because the
wince never left its face. "Do
what you think you must, little girl, you'll still be dead by sunup."
Buffy took a deep breath, and hoped that she had recovered enough to
do some damage. "One of us
will be."
The vampire leapt at her, and she dodged out of his way, giving him
a kick to the stomach for his
trouble. He recovered quickly, punching her in the head. She crashed
into the mirrored wall, falling
to the floor. She rolled towards him and grabbed his legs before he
could move, yanking him
downwards. He fell on top of her, and they struggled there, with his
fangs trying for her throat, and
her hands keeping his head well back. Finally she rolled them both,
slamming his body into the
mirror, shattering it. She pushed away from him and jumped to her feet.
The vampire, wary now, got up slowly and gave her a baleful glare.
"Why don't you just die, like a good little girl?"
Buffy smiled. "I was never a good little girl."
She kicked at his head, forcing him backwards. She followed up with
a roundhouse kick that caught
him in the side of the head and spun him around like a top. She advanced
on the vampire and
socked him in the jaw, stunning him.
"But I was always the Slayer."
The vampire stared at her, fear alight in his dead eyes.
"Jake!" he yelled. "I need some help here!"
Emerging from the shadows behind the vampire, Jake Chambers walked towards
them, holding a
gun.
"You can't handle this little bitch, Bobby?"
Buffy stepped back, wondering if her Slayer powers had some sort of special protection from bullets.
Doubt it.
"Great to see you, Jake. What, ripping people off wasn't enough fun?"
Jake grinned. "I can think of a lot of things that might be a lot of
fun. You dying, that'd be one. But
I'd also like to see what you got goin' on, if you know what I mean."
Buffy snorted. "Didn't you get a chance to cop a feel when I was unconscious?
Or did that seem too
familiar an experience for you, drugging helpless young girls?"
The vampire, Bobby, looked like he was getting his wind back. "Willpower,
little girl, is a very
important thing to have. You must wait for just the right moment, or
it all seems cheap and
worthless."
Buffy took another step back. "So what's your deal, boys? You both heavy
into the evil trip, or do
you have some sort of Siegfried and Roy thing happening?"
Jake put an arm around the vampire's shoulders. "He's my brother," he said proudly.
"Terrific. I'm sure your mother is very proud. Well, gotta go!" And
Buffy dashed around the corner
and down the corridor, just in time to escape the speeding bullet that
smashed into the mirror
behind her. As she ran, she could hear Jake tell his brother to guard
the exit.
Intersection. Take a right.
The gun boomed.
Okay, let's try left.
Buffy quickly became disoriented, as several mirror images ran alongside
her into the darkness, and
with each intersection, she just picked a direction randomly. Behind
her, she could hear Jake yelling.
"Maybe after we're done with you, we can find that skinny old witch
and find out what colour her
blood is!"
How big was this maze, anyway? Left turn, left turn, right turn, left
turn, right turn. She came into a
corridor and was surprised to see Jake at the other end of it with
his back to her. For a moment, she
thought about sneaking up on him. He seemed to sense her thought, and
turned suddenly. She
yelped and ducked back into the previous corridor.
"Not so fast, little girl! I got a nice big hammer for ya!"
Yeah, that's what they all say.
Finally she found herself at the center of the mirror maze, which was
a large circle with four
corridors going in the compass directions, and mirrors filling in the
gaps. She turned to see a couple
dozen reflections looking back at her. Jake's heavy footsteps echoed
down one of the corridors.
There wasn't much time. Inspiration struck.
You're such a two-dimensional girl.
Jake slowed as he entered the center of the maze. Something wasn't right.
He could feel it. Hell, he'd
been feeling it from the moment that girl stepped up to his high-striker
yesterday and made him
look the fool. Well, there'd be plenty of time for payback. Oh, yes.
Bobby'd have his fun, but first,
Jake has gotta have his fun. He held the gun up, watching his reflections.
He admired the pose he
was making; he could have been an action star, look at that stance,
that grip, that authority.
He stepped into the center of the circular room.
Buffy fell on him.
They hit the floor, the gun bouncing out of his grip, sliding to the
far wall. Buffy recovered first and
punched him in the face, then the gut. He groaned, staring up at the
ceiling, which was just a series
of tarpaulins resting over wooden crossbeams. He had never thought
to look up.
She punched him again, and he reached out blindly for anything. He got
her armpit. He pinched
violently, and she cried out, rolling off him. Seeing his chance, he
crawled towards the gun, scuttled
like an injured crab, all the while his mind yelling at him, telling
him how monumentally stupid he
was, how he should be calling for help right now, but he couldn't,
because this was just a girl, and
there had never been a girl he couldn't handle.
His hand closed on the grip just as her hand closed on his ankle.
She pulled first, dragging him back towards her, and as he brought the
gun around, she leaped onto
him, matching his grip on the weapon.
They struggled with a desperate intensity, and when the gun finally
went off, it was a relief to both of
them.
And then Jake died.
Buffy lay there for a couple of minutes, shaking.
I just killed a human being.
He was going to kill you, if you remember.
Yeah, but he's dead. I could have just wounded him or something.
Oh, really? I wasn't aware that you had the time and opportunity to make that kind of decision.
I'm the Slayer. He was a human. I had an unfair advantage, and…
He was pumped full of adrenalin. That evens it out.
But I'm supposed to kill vampires and demons.
Two things: one, it was self-defense, and two, he was probably no less evil than his brother.
His brother.
Who was running towards her right this -
The vampire crashed into Buffy, knocking the wind right out of her.
She tried to push Bobby away,
but this was a vampire that had just lost his brother. This was a vampire
like few others she had
faced.
This was a vampire with nothing to lose.
He grabbed her head and slammed it into the floor, stunning her. He
punched her in the face once,
twice, then pulled her up and threw her across the room. She shattered
the mirror, glass shards
falling all around her. In her dazed state of mind, it looked like
shiny snowflakes.
Snowflakes. I like snow. Nice and fluffy.
The vampire came at her slowly now, carefully. It bent down, kneeling
beside her. She could barely
resist; she felt so tired, her limbs felt like rubber. The fangs looked
so big and sharp from this angle,
and she vaguely wondered if Angel's teeth had ever looked like that.
A hand tapped on the vampire's shoulder.
"Excuse me? I think that's my employee you've got there."
Bobby looked up to see a crowbar come streaking down, smashing into
his face. The force of the
blow sent the creature flying backwards, landing heavily on his dead
brother.
Buffy blinked and saw Rya Raines standing over her with a concerned
look. "Are you all right,
honey?"
"Snowflakes," she replied.
Rya nodded as if this was the answer she expected. "You just lay there
and let us take care of carny
business." She straightened and nodded to Will, who was taking a stake
out of a very large bag.
Will went over to the vampire, who was still trying to recover from
the blow to the face. "Bobby
Chambers. And we thought you had run away to become respectable. Boy,
were we way off or
what?" He raised the stake and plunged it into the vampire's heart.
The undead creature exploded in
a shower of dust.
Rya knelt down and brushed the hair back from Buffy's eyes. "Perhaps
you should rest a little while,
honey. You've had a rough day."
"Nice and fluffy," said the Slayer.
* * *
"I'm sorry I can't stay. You understand."
Will smiled, but it didn't look right. It looked fake. Buffy wondered
if she was ever going to get good
at saying goodbye.
I guess when that happens, that's when you know you've run out of friends.
"It's okay. Gramma explained it to me, anyway."
Gramma. Astra. Buffy was still amazed at the unflappable demeanour of
these people. Especially
when they explained to her how the situation was going to unfold.
"We'll spread the story around that Jake decided to go find his brother."
Astra smiled. To Buffy, it
looked like the old woman actually enjoyed talking about all this,
like it was some big game.
Rya laughed. "That's as close to the truth as we're going to get." And
Rya, this middle-aged wonder
who seems as capable running a carnival as she is with a crowbar.
"How did you find us?"
Rya shrugged. "The gunshots were a big clue."
"But what about the body? What about…?"
"Already taken care of, my dear." Astra's sharp eyes watched the young
girl like a hawk. "And you'll
be moving on, won't you? Enough excitement for one carnival?"
It was disconcerting how they knew what she was thinking, almost before
she thought it. Buffy
wondered for the hundredth time whether Rya had been a Slayer.
Will held out his hand. "Rya asked me to give this to you when you left.
A payment for services
rendered, she called it."
Buffy stared at the wad of cash, and continued to stare as he took it
and stuffed it in her front
pocket. "That's really not necessary."
Will smiled, and this time it was a real smile. For some reason, that
made Buffy feel a lot better. "It
is, and you know you need it. Now get on with your bad self before
I decide to go with you."
She grabbed him in a bear hug and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
"Have a good life," she said through a veil of tears, and suddenly it
felt like she was really saying
goodbye to her Sunnydale friends, saying the farewells that she never
found the courage for, and she
clutched Will tightly, waiting for the tremendous sadness to go away.
It did.
Finally they separated, and Will cleared his throat.
"You too. And you never know - we might see each other again someday."
"I'd like that."
She took a step back, then another, then another, turning on one heel
and walking through the
carnival gates. Just before hitting the road, she looked back, and
there he was, watching her. He
waved.
She waved back.
The days are long, but the nights are longer. The soul goes hungry,
and the spirit trembles under the
weight of sadness. But we go on, because that's what we do. We go on.
I would like to acknowledge a couple of debts: first, to
Dean Koontz for writing 'Twilight Eyes', which some of the story ideas
were outright
stolen from (sorry, lad), and, of course, Rya Raines and the
Sombra Brothers Carnival were his creations. And second, to Joss Whedon
and the
creators of 'Buffy, The Vampire Slayer' for such wonderful characters and
an involving storyline.
I would like to thank my brother for always pointing out the obvious whenever
I seem to miss it.
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