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*****
December 23, 2017
On the freeway to L.A.
Smiling at the memory, Willow barely managed to
keep herself from laughing. It was
entirely inappropriate to laugh, of course, but Cordelia had always
managed to bring joy to
anybody's day. Even remembering some of the things she had done
made Willow happier.
The dancing had been her idea, of course, and it turned out that it
was something that she and
Oz did regularly. They never felt the need to wait for the music
to start. They would just make
their own. Thinking of the joy Cordelia brought into people's
lives, Willow's thoughts turned to
a day that had been both joyful and tearful for Willow and her friends.
It had been about five
years before and they had been sitting in the waiting room at the hospital
for hours while
Cordelia gave birth to her first child. She and Oz had married
as soon as they got out of
college and had immediately started trying for a baby, but it had taken
ten years for Cordelia to
finally get pregnant. The friends were worried about her as they
waited for news from inside.
*****
May 20, 2012
Los Angeles County General Hospital
Xander, Angel, Spike, and Giles paced nervously
around the small waiting room while their
wives sat patiently waiting for news from the doctors. It was
three o'clock in the morning and it
had been almost twenty-four hours since they had arrived at the hospital.
Spike, Angel, and
Drusilla had had to leave in order to sleep during the day but had
returned as soon as the sun
went down. The men were impatient, imagining what Oz must be
going through. It was
taking too long. Of all of them only Xander had any actual experience
with becoming a father,
but they all knew that it was taking much too long for it to be good
for Cordelia. And she
meant far too much to all of them for them to sit idly by while she
was in danger. Just when
Willow thought she would go crazy from their restless pacing, Oz entered
the room, smiling
wearily. "It's a girl," he said, his voice trembling slightly.
"Willow, Xander, Cordelia wants to
talk to the two of you for a few minutes. Could you come with
me?"
"Uh oh," Angel thought to himself. "That doesn't
sound good." He looked over at Melissa,
whose eyes were wide. "She knows something," he decided.
As Xander and Willow
followed Oz down the hallway towards Cordelia's room, Angel sat down
next to Melissa.
"What's going on?" he asked quietly. "Is something wrong?"
"He's upset about something," she answered thoughtfully.
"She's going to be okay,
though. If she were in danger, he'd be broadcasting like crazy.
He's not though."
"Okay," Angel accepted her answer. "I wonder
what's wrong, though," he thought to
himself.
*****
"The doctor said there were complications," Oz explained
as he, Xander, and Willow
walked down the hallway. "She won't be able to have any more
children. She wants to talk
to the two of you about a name."
"She's going to be okay, though, right?" Willow
asked, fear in her voice. It didn't matter how
many children Cordelia could have as long as she was okay.
"Yeah, she's going to be fine. She's just
upset about not being able to have her four
children like she'd planned."
When they reached the door, they entered the quiet
room and found Cordelia sitting up in
her bed, holding her new daughter. "Hey guys," she said, smiling
at her friends.
"Hi," Willow answered as she and Xander walked over
to the bed. "Oh, she's beautiful!"
she exclaimed as she beheld Cordelia and Oz's daughter for the first
time.
"Thank you," Cordelia answered, her gaze fixed on
her tiny daughter. "I wanted to ask you
about the name we picked out for her. Did Oz tell you that I
won't be able to have any more
children?" she asked, her voice cracking slightly.
"Yes, he told us. It's okay, though," Willow
reassured her friend. "We're just happy that
you're okay."
"I want to make sure she has the perfect name, but
I'm feeling guilty. I was planning to
have several children and I had several names to use. Now, I
have one child and still several
names I need to use. Do you think Melissa and Buffy would understand
if I didn't use their
names?"
"They should," Xander said. "We already named
our daughter after the two of them. They
don't need any more namesakes."
"Okay. What about Dru?" Cordelia asked guiltily.
"I think she would be okay with it," Willow answered.
"I don't think she ever expected
anyone to name a child after her."
"All right then," Cordelia decided. "What
do the two of you think of the name Willow
Alexandra Walker?" she asked, smiling at her two best friends.
"You want to name her after us?" Willow exclaimed
excitedly.
"Yes. Is that okay with you?"
"Of course it's okay!" Xander agreed before his
more polite wife had a chance to protest.
"It's better than okay, it's awesome! Of course," he added, smiling
mischievously, "who
wouldn't want to name their children after the two of us? We're
perfect!"
"Right," Oz laughed. "You're perfect.
That's it, buddy."
"Hey!" Xander protested. "I am. Well,
Willow is. I might just be close to perfect."
"Anyway," Cordelia interrupted. "Willow Alexandra
it is. Now, that was all I wanted the two
of you for. Go away," she laughed. "I'm kidding, but I'm
tired, so I'm going to sleep now."
"Okay, sweetie," Oz kissed his wife on the forehead
and handed his daughter back to the
nurse who had entered the room. Then he followed Willow and Xander
out of the room,
closing the door gently behind him.
As they walked back to the waiting room, Willow
smiled broadly. "Wow!" she said softly. "I
have a tiny little baby named after me. I've never had anything
named after me before. Well,
except for the tree, but that was more the other way around.
This is really cool!" she
exclaimed, walking into the waiting room.
"What's really cool?" Spike asked, looking up at
her.
"Cordelia's going to name her daughter after Xander
and me," Willow answered, smiling.
"Isn't that cool?"
"Yeah, Wil," Buffy laughed. "That's pretty
cool. Why wouldn't she, though? You're her best
friends."
"Well, I don't know. I just thought Cordelia
would think up some really great name on her
own. I never expected anybody to name a baby after me."
"So, what's wrong?" Angel asked, changing the subject.
"You seemed upset when you
came in earlier," he added, looking at Oz.
"The doctor said there were complications.
Cordelia won't be able to have any more
children. It's fine with me, but she's upset, so now I am.
All that matters is her happiness.
This is breaking her heart. I'm sure little Willow will have
more love lavished on her than any
child in history, though, to make up for it," Oz smiled fondly, thinking
of his wife.
"I think Cordelia will be the perfect mother," Buffy
agreed. "She'll manage to raise a little
angel of a daughter without turning her into a spoiled brat."
"Our little girl will most definitely not be spoiled,"
Oz said.
*****
December 24, 2017
Los Angeles, CA
As Xander took the exit to get to Oz's house, Willow
sighed. Oz and Buffy had been right, of
course. Willow Alexandra Walker had, in the five years she lived,
been an absolute angel.
She was definitely not spoiled and always thought of others before
herself. "She had a good
role-model, though," Willow thought as Xander pulled into Oz's driveway.
He pulled up
behind Buffy and Angel's car as Spike drove up in his van. The
group piled wearily out of the
two cars and headed inside, carrying the children.
Willow looked around the living room as she entered
and was astonished by what she
saw. Oz sat numbly on the couch with wrapping paper and boxes
scattered across the floor.
Seeing the look on Willow's face, Buffy walked over to her. "He
won't let me clean it up," she
explained. "I guess he was wrapping Cordelia's Christmas presents
when he got the call."
"Oh," Willow answered, more tears starting to slide
down her cheeks. She was getting
really tired of crying, but she seemed to have a never-ending supply
of fresh tears. She
turned to walk over to the couch when she saw that Xander had already
done so.
"Hey Oz," Xander said softly, sitting down next
to Oz. "What's that?" he indicated the box
that Oz turned over and over in his hand.
Oz looked up at Xander for a moment and then lowered
his eyes back to the box. He
slowly opened it and pulled out a ring. He stared at it for a
few minutes and then handed it to
Xander. Taking it, Xander carefully studied the ring. It
was beautiful, that much was certain.
"He must have gotten it for Cordy for Christmas," Xander thought to
himself. "She would have
loved it." He took his eyes off the ring and looked up at the
man who had become his friend in
the twenty years he had known him. "Oz, I'm so sorry man," he
said, not sure what else
there was to say. "You know, she would have loved this ring."
"You think so?" Oz asked hopefully. "I designed
it myself. I drew a picture of what I wanted
and gave it to the jeweler. He said it was a good design," he
finished, his voice cracking.
"I think you should let Buffy and Angel clean this
place up," Xander told his friend. "Having
this stuff around isn't going to bring them back and it's just making
it harder for you."
"I was wrapping her presents," Oz answered numbly.
"We always wrap Willow's together,
so I was waiting for her to get home to do those. I was just
taking the time while she was
gone to wrap hers. Oh God, Xander. How can they both be
gone?" he asked, searching for
an answer that nobody had. "What do I do now?"
"The first thing you do is to let us take care of
you," Angel answered, crouching down next
to the couch. "I know how hard this is for you, but you have
to believe me when I tell you that
having people around will help a lot."
"Okay, I guess you can put the boxes away," Oz agreed,
staring at the middle of the living
room. "I miss them already," he added as he looked around the
room. "They should be here
now. Willow should be asleep in her room and Cordelia should
be in here telling me about
another day volunteering at the soup kitchen. Did you know she
wasn't even working today?
She spent the day feeding a whole bunch of people who probably wouldn't
have gotten to eat
without her. And then she died on the way home! Why?
It's not fair," he said, breaking down
and crying.
"I know it's not," Willow agreed, sitting down next
to her friend. "She and Willow deserved
to live long, happy lives. For some reason they didn't get to,
though. I'm sorry. I wish they
could have."
"Willow was so excited about Christmas," Oz said,
recovering his voice. "Not for the
presents, either. She was excited about getting to see all of
you again..."
*****
December 22, 2017
Los Angeles, CA
Willow Alexandra Walker entered the living room
smiling. She ran over to where her
mother sat on the couch and launched herself onto Cordelia's lap.
"Hi Mommy!" she
exclaimed, throwing her arms around her mother.
"Hey there, Willow angel!" Cordelia responded, returning
the bear hug her daughter had
given her. "How are you tonight?"
"I'm fine," Willow answered. "I can't wait
until Christmas though," she added. "When are
we leaving again?"
"We'll go over to Sunnydale the day after tomorrow.
We're going to stay at Grandma and
Grandpa's house and spend Christmas Eve with them. Christmas
morning we'll go over to
Aunt Buffy's and have Christmas with them," Cordelia explained.
"How does that sound?"
"That sounds good," Willow agreed. "Are we
spending Christmas with Aunt Buffy because
Grandma Walker died?" she asked quietly, hoping her father didn't hear.
This caused Oz,
who sat at the other end of the couch, to smile. He would love
his daughter no matter what, of
course, but he especially loved her because of her good heart.
She never wanted to hurt
anybody, so she was always careful to not talk about his parents around
Oz.
"Yes, sweetheart, we are," Cordelia smiled sadly.
I wish that it was for some other reason,
though."
"I do too," Willow nodded, hugging her mother again.
"So, why aren't we going
tomorrow? Most of my friends are already gone for Christmas."
"I know they are, but I need to stay here.
I'm volunteering at the soup kitchen tomorrow. I
need to take food over there and then help them serve it."
"Oh, so you're not working tomorrow," Willow stated.
"Nope," Cordelia answered. "No work tomorrow.
I'm just doing the soup kitchen thing."
"Is there anything I can help with?" Willow offered.
"Maybe I could help mix stuff or
something."
"Thank you, sweetheart," Cordelia smiled.
"I think we have enough people volunteering,
though. I'll take you to day-care so you can play and then I'll
come pick you up. We can stop
and get Daddy another Christmas present if you want," she added just
loud enough for Oz to
hear.
"Okay," Willow agreed.
"Now, young lady," Cordelia said, adopting the sternest
tone she could, "it's time for you to
get to bed. Go on ahead and we'll be there in a few minutes to
tuck you in."
As her daughter ran to obey, Cordelia smiled at
her husband. "I must say," she laughed.
"That little girl is pretty adorable. No wonder everyone's been
so nice to us lately; they all
want to hang around Willow."
"I think it has more to do with the fact that you're
perfect than it has to do with our daughter,"
Oz smiled back.
"I am not perfect," Cordelia retorted.
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
"Are too."
"Am not."
They argued good-naturedly for the next several
minutes about whether Cordelia was
perfect, finally declaring a draw. They decided they were both
free to believe whatever they
wished. Then they went to say goodnight to their daughter.
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